Nobody ever said forever
by Cindy Ryan
Summary: Sheppard/Keller. J/J’s first fight. Jealousy and trust are not always easily resolved.
1. Chapter 1

This story is set very early in J/J's relationship so they're serious but still feeling each other out. For purposes of this fic Evan knows Jen's seeing someone but doesn't know who.

Title: Nobody ever said forever  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: romance, angst  
Summary: J/J's first fight. Jealousy and trust are not always easily resolved.

"When did you stop trusting me?"John demanded his voice full of quiet anger as he and Jennifer walked down the corridor toward her quarters.

Jennifer shot him a glare as she moved ahead of him. She couldn't believe he was mad and on top of that was starting a fight.  
This would so not end well.  
They were both tired, it was nearly two in the morning.  
On top of that it'd been a hell of a long week.

They reached her quarters and Jennifer stepped inside. For once she regretted being on Atlantis.  
She had no way to slam the door in his face to prevent him entry.

John stepped past her into the room.

Jennifer whirled to face him. She wasn't usually one to get mad. It took a lot to set her off. But she couldn't peg his mood and combine that with being nearly exhausted…..

"I didn't say you could come in."Jennifer snapped as she let the door shut behind her.

Even with the late hour she didn't want everyone hearing this fight.

"You didn't answer my question."John stated as he leaned against the wall next to the door his arms folded across his chest.

The sensible part of him knew he should table this conversation for another time.  
It hadn't been a good night…..they were both running on fumes.  
However his heart was overriding the sensible part.  
She'd hurt him today and he needed to know why.

Jennifer sat down on her bed and began to pull her boots off. "I trust you with my life, John. Always have."

"Then what the hell was today?"

Jennifer had gotten one boot off and had started on the other. "Excuse me?"

"You didn't trust me today."John shot back. "I gave you an order to stay back…."

A shadow crossed Jennifer's face as she recalled the day's mission. "I couldn't just stand there."

"Out there….if I tell you to, you do."

Jennifer's eyes narrowed. "He was in trouble."

"Lorne's a big boy, he can handle himself."

Jennifer finished pulling off the second boot and tossed it aside.  
Though she'd had a brief notion of throwing it.

"Evan didn't see………."

John cut her off as he moved away from the wall feeling the need to pace. "You assumed he didn't see the other shooter. He's got years of training, well honed instincts and you just assumed he didn't see it."

Jennifer was beginning to regret not throwing the boot. "I……"

John cut her off. "You rushed right into the line of fire, Jen!"

"And I'd do it again."Jennifer replied angrily as she stood.

They'd nearly lost Evan today and John was arguing with her over saving a friend's life. Yes she'd taken a risk shoving Evan out of the way but there hadn't been time to do anything else.  
Something didn't add up here.

"We have a problem there, don't we."John snapped not being able to get the image out of his head of the weapons fire missing her by inches.

Jennifer closed the space between them so she was facing him. "Would you rather Evan had died?"

"Of course not!"

"He'd do the same for me in a heartbeat."

That stung.

John took a deep breathe and let it out slowly trying in vain to keep his anger in check. "You think I wouldn't?"

Jennifer shook her head. "That's not what I meant…."

John was silent for a moment as another feeling began to work its way through the anger. It was one he recognized and John couldn't figure out why it was surfacing now.  
There was nothing to be jealous of.  
Jennifer and Evan were friends….nothing more.

John met her gaze studying her expression carefully. "You risked your life for him, disobeyed an order….."

"I'd do the same for anybody."

John shook his head. "No, you wouldn't…..if it was Rodney, or Ronon you' d trust me to handle it."

"What exactly are you accusing me of?"

John walked back toward the door. "I'm not sure."

Jennifer sighed. She thought they'd started to build something.  
Something that might last.  
But if he couldn't trust her personally or professionally…..

"I think it's time you left."Jennifer stated quietly.

John took a step toward the door then turned back. He didn't want to leave it like this.  
He loved her…..but she'd scared the hell out of him today and he couldn't get past it.

"Fine."John replied curtly as he headed toward the door.

"John?"Jennifer called softly halting him. "Where do we stand?"

John didn't turn to face her. "I don't know, Jen. I don't know."

This will have a happy ending, I promise. :)

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

This will be about four chapters. Thanks for the reviews. :)

Title: Nobody ever said forever  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: romance, angst  
Summary: J/J's first fight. Jealousy and trust are not always easily resolved.

After John left Jennifer had tried to sleep.  
She really had.  
Tossed and turned for nearly an hour before giving up.

With a sigh Jennifer turned the lights on in her quarters. She kicked the covers off and got out of bed. Thinking she might take a run Jennifer put on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt before slipping into her sneakers.

However as Jennifer left her quarters her stomach growled reminding her she hadn't eaten much that day…well yesterday technically.

Turning in the opposite direction Jennifer headed toward the Mess.

* * *

Twenty minutes later after eating half a sandwich and a bag of chips Jennifer crossed the deserted Mess and headed out to the adjoining balcony.

She was feeling the weight of the last twenty-four hours and she didn't know how to fix it.

Jennifer leaned against the railing letting the ocean breeze calm her soul.  
Or it tried too.

Jennifer rubbed a hand across her temple. She thought back to their fight. Jennifer understood John being angry that she'd, in his eyes, risked her life unnecessarily.  
But to Jennifer the rest of the fight had seemed weird and well weird.

Jennifer shook her head. She'd gone into this relationship with both eyes open.  
She'd heard the women talk.  
She'd known his reputation of a playboy.

But when they'd lasted past four dates Jennifer had really thought there was something.  
Something that made him stay.

What had gone so wrong?

Had she bruised his ego yesterday by taking the initiative by pushing Evan out of the way?  
Jennifer frowned…..no had to be more than that. John had been too hurt and angry for just a bruised ego.

Then as if a lightbulb had literally gone off over her head Jennifer straightened at the realization.

Oh God.  
Jealous.  
John was jealous of Evan.

Jennifer buried her face in her hands. She could see it clearly now.  
In his words, in his body language.

It wasn't so much the fact that she'd risk'd her life for another man.  
It was the fact that she and Evan had this deep friendship that John didn't comprehend.  
Jennifer realized that he thought since she'd pushed Evan out of danger because of that friendship that she was choosing that friendship over him.

Jennifer knew deep down John was probably afraid her friendship for Evan might deepen into something else.

Jennifer raised her head and stared out at the dark waves. How could he be so stupid?  
Didn't John know that she loved Evan like a brother and nothing else?  
Not that she hadn't at the very beginning thought about it.  
Briefly.  
She was human after all and Evan was Evan…..especially in uniform.

But the friendship had meant more and she and Evan had silently agreed not to pursue anything else.

Then she had gotten involved with John…….how was she going to fix this?


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks for the reviews. :)

Author's note number one) I took a bit of writer's license with the Mess. I figured it had to be much bigger than what they showed us in Broken Ties. So in my little world there's a large seating area, the serving line and then at the head of the serving line doors leading out to a wide balcony. :)

Title: Nobody ever said forever  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Category: romance, angst  
Summary: J/J's first fight. Jealousy and trust are not always easily resolved.  
Author Notes: / and italic font (if I can get it to show up) indicate a flashback

As soon as he had left Jen's quarters John had given up on even attempting to sleep.  
Between the mission and the fight he was way too keyed up.

After a moment's indecision John headed to Sam's office. Might as well use his energy and attack the pile of paperwork he had waiting.

With a sigh John turned and left the hallway.

* * *

"Thought I was the only one not sleeping tonight."

With a surprised squeak Jennifer jumped and whirled to face Evan having not heard the doors to the balcony open.

Evan grinned sheepishly. "Sorry, didn't mean to startle you."

Jennifer returned his smile still so relieved that he was okay aside from a few bumps and bruises.

"It's okay."Jennifer replied as she leaned back against the railing. "Too deep in thought….didn't hear you come in."

Evan frowned seeing her red rimmed eyes. "What's the matter?"

Jennifer shook her head. "Nothing worth talking about right now."

"If it has you upset and not sleeping………"

Jennifer sighed as she met his questioning gaze. "Had a fight with my boyfriend when we got back…..."

"I'm sorry."Evan replied quietly as he moved to stand next to her. He hadn't quite yet figured out who she'd been seeing but he had it narrowed down to the senior staff. "What was it about?"

Jennifer looked back out at the ocean and the twin moons above. "You."

* * *

John stared at the laptop screen not really seeing the words of Evan's report. His thoughts were returning to yesterday no matter how hard he tried to stop them.  
The trading mission had started out so well and had gone straight to hell just as fast.  
They'd been on their way back to the gate when things had gone south.

/_John carefully made his way through the large ruin that according to the natives had once been a temple. Most of the top half of the building had long since crumbled away leaving portions of the interior exposed to the elements.  
__Vines and vegetation were everywhere._

_They had decided to take a cut through the ruin on the way back to the gate since the other way was a sheer drop to the river._

_"So what do you think, Rodney?"John asked with a grin as he watched McKay fight with a wayward vine that was blocking his way. "Think we can turn this place into a hotel? Make some money?"_

_Jennifer laughed as she walked beside Evan, Ronon trailing quietly behind. "I don't think even Ty Pennington could turn this place into a hotel."_

_Rodney looked back at her quizzically. "Who?"_

_Jennifer patted Rodney's shoulder as she passed him. "I'll loan you my 'Extreme Makeover' tape when we get home. He's an interior designer/carpenter."_

_Suddenly a bright green energy blast hit a wall inches from John's left shoulder._

_Sheppard instantly dove to the right and took cover behind a broken statute as he returned fire. "Where the hell did that come from?"_

_Evan picked up his night vision binoculars and scanned the roof. "They're on the far side of the roof, by the river…..might be six or eight….they're moving too much."_

_Rodney leveled off a few shots as he and Jennifer hid behind what was left of a pillar. "We didn't do anything this time! Did we?"_

_"No, we didn't."Jennifer replied as she anxiously watched the firefight._

_"Major."John ordered. "See if you and Ronon can circle around and get underneath them. We're sitting ducks here."_

_"On it."Ronon replied as he moved firing as he went._

_Fifteen minutes later they were starting to get the upperhand when John saw a flash of blonde hair out of the corner of his eye._

_He turned just in time to see Jennifer and Evan go down in a heap of bodies and two flashes of green energy blasts._

_"Shit."John cursed as he moved from his hiding spot hitting the enemy with rapid fire as he made his way to the all too still forms of Evan and Jennifer._

_From somewhere in front of him John heard Ronon's gunfire increase at the sight of his downed friends. Two sharp cries from above told John the numbers were evening.  
__From behind John heard Rodney lay in cover fire._

_Finally reaching the fallen pair John was relieved beyond words to see Jennifer's wide hazel eyes staring back at him._

_"You two okay?"John asked in a soft tense voice._

_"Yeah."Jennifer replied quietly._

_Evan shifted his weight off of Jennifer and rolled into a sitting position._

_"I'm good."Lorne replied before he locked gazes with Jennifer. "Thanks."_

_"Behind!"Jennifer shouted in warning._

_John whirled and fired. The sniper tumbled inward landing with an audible thud against a rock slab._

_Suddenly the gunfire ceased the only sound being of scrambling footfalls._

_"Got them on the run."Ronon reported as he came near. "Want me to follow?"_

_Sheppard shook his head as he stood. He turned to offer Jennifer a hand up but found Lorne had already helped her to her feet._

_John turned back to Ronon as Rodney joined them. "No, let's just get the hell out of here before anybody else tries to kill us." /_

With a slight shake of his head to clear the memories John hit the correct keys and saved the report before closing the screen.  
He wasn't getting anything done tonight.  
Maybe a workout would help.

With that decided John stood and headed toward the gym trying to shake the feelings left over from the dark memories.

He'd nearly lost half his team.  
He'd nearly lost her…..in less than a heartbeat.

John swallowed hard and followed the familiar path to the gym.

* * *

Evan nearly choked on the apple muffin he'd snagged from the mess on his way out to the balcony.

"Me?"

Jennifer watched him with concern until he took a sip of the bottle water he'd had balanced in his jacket pocket.

"You fought over me?"Evan asked in a stronger voice as he set the muffin down on the railing and took another sip of water.

Jennifer sighed as she nodded. "When I told him what happened today….er…..yesterday he was angry I had risked my life when there were others that could've handled it."

Evan took a step closer to her and set the bottled water aside. He pulled Jennifer into a comforting embrace.

"Not that I'm not grateful."Lorne began softly. "I never saw the guy….if you hadn't….but you still took a hell of a risk, Jen."

Jen's fingers clinched around the edges of his jacket. "I didn't think, Evan. I just reacted……I'm just so thankful that you're okay."

After a moment Evan pulled back and saw the fresh stream of tears flowing down Jennifer's face.

"Hey."Evan said softly as he gently placed a hand under her chin. "What's with the tears? Everything's okay, Jen…..if it's not it's fixable."

Jennifer pulled away with a shake of her head as she used the back of her right hand to wipe away the tears.

"No, it's not, Evan…..and I don't know how to fix it."

"Talk to me."Evan urged. "What else is going on?"

Jennifer sniffled as she met his concerned gaze. "He's jealous of you….and me….even though there isn't a you and me."

Evan gripped her arm lightly. "I'll talk to him."

Jennifer shook her head.

"You're still protecting him?"Evan asked tightly. "After he's treated you like crap?"

Jennifer pulled her arm away and gently squeezed his hand. "I understand now where he's coming from…..it's an issue of trust and needs to be worked out between the two of us."

"Jen….."

Jennifer moved past him to the door and placed a hand on Evan's shoulder as she passed. "Thank you, Evan…..I'm going to try to get some sleep. I'll see you later."

Evan shook his head sadly as he watched her leave. He hoped whoever this guy was would realize how lucky he was and find a way to work it out.  
Jennifer deserved happiness.  
And they all knew how fleeting happiness was in Pegasus.


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Nobody ever said forever  
Author: Cindy Ryan  
Pairing: Sheppard/Keller  
Notes and summary: See part one

Jennifer groaned when her alarm went off the next morning. Without looking at the clock Jennifer knew she'd gotten less than four hours. She hit her alarm a little too hard shutting off the offending noise.

With a wide yawn Jennifer slowly sat up. She'd set her alarm early so she could find John before her shift started.  
She didn't want this hanging over their heads.  
For better or worse they had to talk.

As she climbed out of bed Jennifer reached for her earpiece and put it on. As she did she keyed a private channel.  
Knowing John, Jennifer figured he didn't sleep much either.

"Keller to Sheppard."

For a brief moment Jennifer thought he was ignoring her, then her radio crackled to life.

"Go ahead."John's reluctant voice came back.

Jennifer winced at his tone. "I was hoping you could meet me for breakfast…..we have a lot to talk about."

"I'll meet you in twenty."

"I'll be out on the balcony."

"Okay. Sheppard out."

Jennifer sighed as she grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower.  
At least he agreed to meet…..that was some progress.

* * *

After grabbing a mini omelet and a blueberry muffin from the line John found Jennifer at a small table in a back corner of the balcony.

He'd been surprised by the breakfast offer….John had thought she wouldn't talk to him for weeks.  
Not that he was fully conceding the fight……but John had realized he'd handled it badly  
Now part of John was afraid she'd choose Lorne over him.

As John made his way through the doors and over to the table he made a decision to fight for her if necessary. They had something good here that he wasn't willing to give up so easily.

"Hi."John greeted as he sat down. He immediately noted the dark circles under her eyes and mentally kicked himself. He'd never wanted to cause her pain.

"Hi."Jennifer replied with a smile. There were no other occupants on the balcony. She reached over and tentatively took his hand in hers.

John looked down at their entwined hands and then back at her smiling face. "Jen, I…."

"John, you…."

"Let me finish, please."

"Okay."Jennifer relented as she settled back in the chair not letting go of his hand.

John squeezed her hand gently. "I was an idiot yesterday….."

"John…."

John grinned. "Thought you were going to let me finish?"

Jennifer blushed. "Sorry."

John gently ran a thumb over her knuckles as he took a deep breathe. "You scared the hell out of me yesterday…..when I saw you hit the ground….."He trailed off and met her gaze. "I understand why you thought you had to……..and if Evan's who you want….I'll step aside….not completely…..I don't want to give up on this….but I'll give him a hell of a fight."

Jennifer reached over with her free hand and tenderly touched his left cheek. "John Sheppard, you have nothing to worry about where Evan's concerned. He's a brother to me….a best friend….that's all."

"Really?"John asked wanting desperately to believe her….but in his experience no man could spend that much time with an attractive woman and not have some kind of feeling…some attraction.

Jennifer nodded. "Really. There was something at first but we decided the friendship was more important. I love you….and I want to see where this goes."

John closed his eyes briefly and kissed the inside of her palm that was resting on his cheek. "I love you too, angel."He opened his eyes and smiled. "Can you forgive me?"

Jennifer leaned in to kiss him. "Nothing to forgive."

John kissed her grateful that they had another chance.

end


End file.
